I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
