What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
