Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
