Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
3 2 1 whiskey
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
