Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
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