i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
