Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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