He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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