RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
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