yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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