Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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