dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
