You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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