just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
