so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
