"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
