just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize