I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize