I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
