Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
