They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
