You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Randomize
