So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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