I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize