All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
