Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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