i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
