i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
