Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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