Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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