Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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