Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
