A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
