Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
