I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
She's the barista slut.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
