talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
