Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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