Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
