I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
