I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
