I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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