Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
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