what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
ugly people sure do ruin things
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
