i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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