I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize