if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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