You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
