i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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