A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
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