Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
