Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
