"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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