There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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