Are we in a gay sports bar?
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize