And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Randomize
