He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
