Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
You made me cry and you don't even care
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
