Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize