that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
