i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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