Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
