omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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