hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
My day in three words: secret purse cake
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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