he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
