I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
how does that bad decision feel?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
