saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
