How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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