hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I want to be your penis for a week.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
