I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize