hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
