I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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