She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
