you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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