My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize