come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize