life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
