ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i just made my gag reflex go away.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
