Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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