I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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